New Year, Same Picky Eater

10 Strategies for Picky Eating That Actually Work (Hint: None of Them Involve Forcing, Bribing, or Crying)

I see you.

You tried the new lunch containers. You made the food look cute. You said “just one bite” exactly 47 times. And they still only ate the crackers.

Here’s the thing: picky eating isn’t about willpower. It’s usually about sensory processing or how your child’s brain interprets textures, temperatures, smells, and even the way food looks on the plate.

The good news? There ARE things that help. And I promise—none of them involve forcing, bribing, or crying at the dinner table.

You’re not failing. You’re just missing a few puzzle pieces. Let me help you find them. 💚

First, Let’s Understand What’s Really Going On

When your child refuses food, it’s usually not defiance. Their nervous system is interpreting something about that food as unsafe or overwhelming. This could be:

• Texture: A child who only eats crunchy foods might need the strong jaw input that crunching provides. A child who gags at smooth textures might be interpreting those textures as unsafe. 

• Smell: Smell accounts for about 80% of taste. If a food smells “off” to your child’s sensitive system, their brain says “danger” before they even take a bite.

• Temperature: Some kids can only tolerate food at specific temperatures—too hot or too cold triggers a defensive response.

• Appearance: New foods look unpredictable. Their brain doesn’t know what to expect, so it defaults to “reject.”

• Environment: A noisy, chaotic mealtime can overwhelm a child’s auditory processing, making it impossible to focus on the already complex task of eating.

Understanding the shift from “picky eating” to “sensory processing challenges” changes everything about how you approach mealtimes.

8 Strategies That Actually Work

1. Fix the Seating First

Before you worry about the food, check your child’s seating. If their feet are dangling, their body is working overtime just to stay stable eaving no energy for the actual task of eating.

The fix:

   • Feet flat on the floor (or on a stool/box)

   • Knees at 90 degrees

   • Table at elbow height

When kids feel physically stable, their nervous system can relax. And a relaxed nervous system = a kid who’s more willing to engage with food.

2. Reduce the Environmental Overwhelm

Eating is a complex sensory task. If the environment is loud, bright, or chaotic, your child’s system is already maxed out before they even look at their plate.

Try:

   • Turning off the TV during meals

   • Keeping noise at a conversational level

   • Using natural lighting when possible

   • Decluttering the table (fewer distractions)

3. Ditch the Open-Ended Questions

“What do you want to eat?” is an invitation for “nothing” or a power struggle. Instead, offer guided choices that YOU’VE already approved.

Instead of: “Do you want vegetables?”

Try: “We have cucumbers or peppers. Which one are you going to help me cut?”

See how there’s no option to say no? They’re encouraged to pick one. This reduces the battle before it starts.

4. Make “Not Ready” Different from “Never.”

When your child rejects a food, don’t remove it entirely. Create a “not ready” space on the plate or table. This keeps the food in their visual field without pressure.

The message: “This food is here when you’re ready. There’s no rush.”

Over time, repeated exposure without pressure builds familiarity. Familiarity builds willingness to try.

5. Let Them Play with Their Food (Seriously)

Before your child can eat a food, they often need to explore it. Touching, smelling, squishing (think back to when they were an infant), this isn’t bad manners. It’s their brain gathering information about whether this food is safe.

One of my clients used a carrot stick as a “sauce tool,” dipping it and scraping his teeth against it. He wasn’t eating the carrot yet, but he was getting exposure to the flavor and texture. That’s progress.

Remember: Interaction is the first step. Eating comes later.

6. Give Them a Job

Kids who help prepare food are more likely to try it. It gives them ownership and control—two things picky eaters often lack.

Age-appropriate tasks:

   • Washing vegetables

   • Tearing lettuce

   • Stirring ingredients

   • Cutting soft foods with a kid safe knife

   • Assembling their own plate (charcuterie style)

When they’ve invested effort, they’re more curious about the result.

7. Narrate Without Pressure

Instead of “Take a bite,” try commenting on what they’re doing without expectations:

   • “Wow, those are big crunches!”

   • “You made small pieces!”

   • “I see you smelled that—what did you notice?”

   • “You touched it with your finger!”

This keeps the interaction positive and builds their confidence without pressure to perform.

8. When They Say “No,” Don’t Make It a Battle

If your child says, “I don’t want it,” stay calm. Try: “I’m leaving this here for when you’re ready.” Then redirect your attention elsewhere.

You’re not giving in. You’re removing the audience and the power struggle.

Mealtimes shouldn’t feel like battles. When the pressure drops, kids are more likely to get curious.

The Bottom Line

Picky eating is usually sensory processing in disguise. When we understand WHY a child refuses food—and respond with support instead of pressure—everything shifts.

These strategies won’t transform your picky eater overnight. But they will reduce the stress, rebuild trust at mealtimes, and create the foundation for real, lasting change.

You’re not failing. You’ve just been missing a few puzzle pieces. Now you have them.

Need more support?

If your child’s picky eating feels like more than just a phase—if mealtimes are consistently stressful or their food repertoire is extremely limited—occupational therapy can help.

At Empower Kids Therapy, we don’t just work on food. We address the whole sensory system—because that’s where real feeding change happens.

Book a free consultation at www.empowerkidstherapy.com

Let’s find the missing puzzle pieces together.